I Fear / I Love (Sold)

Transcription

Roots

That I will never have the courage to say what I want. That I will fail. That I will win. That I will mess it all up. That I will always be unable to express myself correctly. That I will always care too much. That I will be forgotten. That I will fail and she will never understand why. That I am only partially applying myself and what if I were to give more? That I will lose myself and my way and end up alone and miserable. That he will never know how I really feel. That he will never understand. That my typhoon will calm and I will be average and boring and old.

That I think I am being smart but I am really being stupid. Again and again. That I will burn my bridges without knowing it and then it will be too late. That all I write will be recycled or pulverized or turned to pulp. That my ideas aren’t original at all. That I am only a derivative of those before. That I never helped anyone. That all was pointless. That I am not being ambitious enough. That I was a burden. That I was an obstacle.

Branches

Yes, I can do that. Yes, I am able. I know how to help. I can answer that. What do you need? I am an expert in my field. I am fulfilled in all aspects of my life. I am the best I can be at all things. Baby ferns uncurling. Someone brushing my hair. Being held. Waves lapping shores. Calm. Calm. Calm. Evening rains. Moss. Water. Love. Sea salt air. Wet dirt. Freshly cut grass.

I am smart. I am reliable. Give. Give. Newborn baby skin and feet. Standing underneath trees. Early morning quiet. Hot cocoa. Driving at night with the wipers on. Crackling fires. Calm. Wood smoke. A friend’s laughter. Foggy skies. A clean room.